Getting Depress errr

You know what hurts? It's when someone you special yesterday, but made you feel that you were the most stupid person today.

after reading this quote those memories were like a slideshow showing me how horrible he was and I don't know why I am feeling this way? Is it because I can't stand the fact that he made me one of his experimental girls to see who can easily fell inlove with him? Tae, magtatagalog na lang ako haha Anyway, back to the topic. Di ko lam bakit nagbabalik, I did forgive him na, ayaw ko na magalit ulit sa kanya, sinupress ko na lahat ng galit, lahat ng badtrip ko. I knew it if something na makakatrigger babalik na naman ang galit ko sa kanya I know suppression is really a bad idea pero yun lang talaga ung paraan para maging ok kami. Shit talaga! Bwiset! Bakit ba ko nagalit sa kanya? Sabi ko nga kanina ginawa niya kong experiment! in short PANAKIP BUTAS! Kasalanan ko din kasi nagtake advantage ako, akala ko kaya siya ganun kabait kasi he's being a gentleman pero hindi may purpose I mean may ginagawa siyang experiment and gladly naeliminate na ko sa experiment niya. Although he had found the girl who passed his experiment, that's why for how many months na hindi ko siya sinusupport sa balak niya to kasi friend ko ung girl and I don't believe him talaga, I don't believe that he love that girl, I love the girl ayaw ko masaktan siya so I dunno. Di ko lam, I'm like crying here and can feel the emotion I felt last two months ago. It was anger, depression, guilt and hatred! So here, I'am telling you now na di na ko masyado magiging close sa kanya di kagaya ng dati but I need to forgive him na. That's what my daddy and my brothers told me, to forgive people. Pero masakit talaga ung ginawa niya sa aken and parang pinamumukha niya lang na something na Second hand or Second option ka lang. ISANG PANAKIP BUTAS. Lalo niya pinababa ang self esteem ko. Isa ka pa naman sa pinakaclose na guy sa akin and then sisirain mo lang yung trust ko sayo I don't know kung kailangan pa ba ako maniwala sayo. From now on, I won't ask any favor from you kasi nakakahiya baka kung anu lang isipin mo ulit. Thanks anyway! And like the quote said I'M SO STUPID to believe to that goodness in you. I'll make some distraction to forget this depression, i should study na.

Friday the 13th

Yesterday was friday the 13th which means it's an unlucky day and for me it was 50-50 which means I experienced bad and good lucks. Good luck because our planned photoshoot was done and it didn't rain!! YAY! And bad luck because my Lola Linda died and I really don't know what's the cause. And also my Lola has forgotten who I am like she's manifesting signs and symptoms of Alzheimer's Disease, I hope she'll be fine.

Anyway, I want to share to you a teaser for my next portfolio which will be posted on my Facebook, DeviantArt and Multiply accounts.

The Ambivert One

I just took a personality test (the one answers if you are introvert or extrovert) and guess what, I am an AMBIVERT, which means I have some trait of an extrovert and introvert.

We all have a little extrovert and introvert in us. We might, for example, act goofy when hanging out with friends, but barely make a peep during office meetings. By gaining a better understanding as to where we lie on the extroversion/introversion continuum, we can develop not only a deeper understanding of ourselves, but also of those

you appear to be the type of person who enjoys socializing with both large and smaller, more intimate groups of people. You don't mind being around big crowds, but that doesn't mean you'll want to crash every party you're invited to. Having an active social life and extending your network of friends is relatively important to you, but it isn't the most crucial thing. You've managed to strike a great balance between actively involving yourself in your larger social network, and spending some quality time with a few intimate friends. Although you may not always be the conversation-starter or the "life of the party", you are generally a very outgoing individual, whether among friends or people you are less familiar with.
-from Queendom

Be Contented

I'm crying my heart out due to emotional stress and low self esteem. Need to boost my self esteem and be happy for who I am and for what I am. Be contented for what you have and what God gave you. Sorry for being emotional, it's GLEEs fault!!

Being contented was one of the things I've learn in Louisa May Alcott's Little Women so here I am trying and doing my best to be contented with the things I have and for the look that God gave to me. Although sometimes we think that this is not enough and getting envious to others is really a dangerous and deadly sin. I should tell myself that I'am unique and truly a gift, a wonderful gift given by the Almighty Father.

Dilemma

I'm planning to pack up and transfer to tumblr..? What do you think guys?