August 16, 2010

Getting Depress errr

posted by Aya Empeo at 22:12
You know what hurts? It's when someone you special yesterday, but made you feel that you were the most stupid person today.
after reading this quote those memories were like a slideshow showing me how horrible he was and I don't know why I am feeling this way? Is it because I can't stand the fact that he made me one of his experimental girls to see who can easily fell inlove with him? Tae, magtatagalog na lang ako haha Anyway, back to the topic. Di ko lam bakit nagbabalik, I did forgive him na, ayaw ko na magalit ulit sa kanya, sinupress ko na lahat ng galit, lahat ng badtrip ko. I knew it if something na makakatrigger babalik na naman ang galit ko sa kanya I know suppression is really a bad idea pero yun lang talaga ung paraan para maging ok kami. Shit talaga! Bwiset! Bakit ba ko nagalit sa kanya? Sabi ko nga kanina ginawa niya kong experiment! in short PANAKIP BUTAS! Kasalanan ko din kasi nagtake advantage ako, akala ko kaya siya ganun kabait kasi he's being a gentleman pero hindi may purpose I mean may ginagawa siyang experiment and gladly naeliminate na ko sa experiment niya. Although he had found the girl who passed his experiment, that's why for how many months na hindi ko siya sinusupport sa balak niya to kasi friend ko ung girl and I don't believe him talaga, I don't believe that he love that girl, I love the girl ayaw ko masaktan siya so I dunno. Di ko lam, I'm like crying here and can feel the emotion I felt last two months ago. It was anger, depression, guilt and hatred! So here, I'am telling you now na di na ko masyado magiging close sa kanya di kagaya ng dati but I need to forgive him na. That's what my daddy and my brothers told me, to forgive people. Pero masakit talaga ung ginawa niya sa aken and parang pinamumukha niya lang na something na Second hand or Second option ka lang. ISANG PANAKIP BUTAS. Lalo niya pinababa ang self esteem ko. Isa ka pa naman sa pinakaclose na guy sa akin and then sisirain mo lang yung trust ko sayo I don't know kung kailangan pa ba ako maniwala sayo. From now on, I won't ask any favor from you kasi nakakahiya baka kung anu lang isipin mo ulit. Thanks anyway! And like the quote said I'M SO STUPID to believe to that goodness in you. I'll make some distraction to forget this depression, i should study na.

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